Well for those of you that know me well, you have some idea of the quantity of salsa I consume. I figured now that I have moved to one of the USA's Salsa Epicenters it was time to start giving my less than humble opinion on it.
I will use an A+ to F scale.
A+ = non-attainable unless the salsa was blessed by some divine source and served chip by chip by Penelope Cruz or Salma Hayek and the beer that accompanies it is so cold and perfect the most emotionless German would start to weep.
F = Pace and Walmart house brands that make me feel like I put my mouth onto the soap nozzle in a public restroom. Soapy tasting salsa = non-fresh herbs.
Hotness will be rated from 1 - 10
- Tomato Sauce in a jar from discount grocer
- " " " " " " " " with black pepper
- Just a hint of spice. Might be right for eggs in the morning or when I am just not in the mood for spicy.
- The beginning of kick for me but starting to lose desire for those with some adversion to Capsicum,
- Just about right. Opens the sinuses... minor heat on my forehead and I can still taste the chip and my tongue isn't numb but isn't too far away either.
- Much more bite, starting to lose taste of the tomatoes and onions and more on the heat
- Possibly the perfect salsa. The last heat level that I put on chips. Above here and I move to Soft Tortillas and Burritos Enchiladas and Juevos Rancheros.
- Its good for me on a good day, but I am going to suffer through it. My friends of hispanic background agree its hot, but still think I am weak.
- Did I just put a habanero straight on my tongue?
- Flamethrower Hot, Tears, Profuse sweating and a burning sensation in places that shouldn't burn. It feels like a painful religious experience.
A little bit about my preferences. I prefer my salsa 4-7 on most days. I don't like spaghetti sauce and I would like fully hot(8-10) but my stomach cant handle burning your face off Salsa. Green or red I have no preference, but since moving to New Mexico the greens down here are amazing.
I will also give some rating if it was used for chips, burritos, eggs, cereals (j/k, mostly) or fresh soft tortillas.
Let the games begin. Any like most people I will gladly accept trial jars shipped from Salsa Engineers across the country. Just contact me.
